timeywimeyjedi:

That attractive face you make right before you sneeze.

wild-for-the-nightt:

bae

come off anon —ancient proverb (via fatwink)

sexhaver:

old golden retrievers are one of the purest forces of good on this planet

sealfie:

Remember when justin timberlake was in Shrek 

cookiedoujin:

boys are the stupidest creatures 

michaxl:

haha ok “friend” where were u when i uploaded a selfie

browningtons:

angrybabysitter:

i appreciate when characters on tv speak their native or mother language with eachother and there are subtitles in english, rather than pretending that everybody in the world speaks accented fucking english

rubyredwisp:

And what of my wrath?

ojiisanholic:

facingthewaves:

“I want to speak to a manager,” the middle-aged woman said in her stern I-used-to-be-a-soccer-mom-ten-years-ago voice, looking down at me over the top of her Gucci reading glasses.

A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.

I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,

“I am the manager.”

a thing for one of my favorite posts on this site